The Myth Of Multiples (Orgasms, That Is)


 

One of the big pet peeves that both readers and writers seem to have with romance novels is lack of realism in matters pertaining to orgasms. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve read a comment someone left regarding the implausibility of multiple orgasms for both Hero and Heroine, well… You know the rest of the line.

So, that got me thinking… Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of the hazards associated with that activity! It regularly gets me into all sorts of messes.

Are multiple orgasms impossible? For just males? Or for both males and females? (See that? I’m pretending I don’t already know the answer :D)

Many people, of both sexes, seem to regard Real Life multiple orgasms as a myth, for either sex. Others will concede that some women are capable of more than one orgasm during a single session of sexual activity. Most seem convinced that a man is incapable of more than one during a single session, without a sufficient recovery period between, and that men are unable to maintain full erection immediately after an orgasm. {My source of all this information is multiple discussions, both online and in person, with members of both sexes. Yup, romance authors get by with asking questions and bringing up topics that would earn other people a cold shoulder, minimum. We’re just lucky like that.}

I suppose I’m lucky that I knew very little about sex before I became sexually active. Oh, I knew the basics, and what went where, thanks to my 9th grade health class, but that’s about it. Being raised in a home where ‘sex’, ‘pregnant’, and the words – slang or proper – for genitals, were forbidden tends to have that effect. Hell, we couldn’t even name various bodily functions. So I had no preconceived notions of things like a limit on the number of orgasms a person could have during a single sexual experience. Since I didn’t know I could only have one, I had more.

Maybe that’s why so many people think only one is possible? Just like so many other facts about sex – that’s what they’ve always heard, so it must be true, right?

So, the thing with guys is, they actually can have multiple orgasms. They just can’t ejaculate again without a recovery period, the length of which varies for each man. It takes practice, but guys can ‘train’ their bodies to orgasm without ejaculating. For more info, check out this article on The Frisky, or just Google “dry orgasm”. From experience, you really want your guy to learn this one. I promise, it’s well worth your while. On a side note, dry orgasm can be a result of disease.

Not long ago, I read an article that said women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and that wasn’t the first time I’d seen that. As someone who’s never had difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm, I knew that one was bullshit, 😀 But it does bring up another common complaint about the realism of sex in romance novels. The heroines in older novels, and some contemporary ones, were often depicted having vaginal orgasm, which some readers considered impossible. The truth is, women can not only have multiple orgasms, but we can have different types of orgasms, and different kinds of multiple orgasms! This post on Centerfold Strip brings it all together.

So the next time you hear someone scoff about that sex scene with multiple orgasms for both the hero and the heroine, just smile and say something like, “You’re kidding, right? Only one? How sad.”

 

*Note, This post is republished here with the permission of the original author – ME. It has run on my own blog and on two others as guest posts, the last about 6 months ago. Since it’s always popular and generates discussion, so I’m dusting it off again. This is probably its last public appearance for a year or more now, so enjoy!

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THE DEVIL WANTS A CHINA DOLL


HERE IT IS.

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Rone Kreed wants Sheeku in every way imaginable. Which is kind of impossible when possessed with a demon who devours souls with a kiss and spreads eternal damnation through his seed.  But Sheeku has a power that protects her from the demon’s sadistic intoxicant, tempting Rone to play ever closer to the fires of her innocent, yet demanding desires. When he learns that protecting her from her sadistic mafia family will require his hand in marriage, exorcism becomes imperative. Because he’s one sweet beg away from surrendering to the woman he’s fallen in love with, and giving the demon her angelic soul.

Publisher’s Note: This book contains explicit sexual situations, graphic language, and material that some readers may find objectionable.

Being Sensual?


ImageThe other day, I’m laying in bed, wiped out from writing and editing erotic scenes nearly all day. You’d swear I’d had a sex marathon, and really, in my mind, I had.

My husband comes home from work and I know how tired he is but I can’t help but need to be touched. I’ll take it however I can get it. But deep down, I have a fear of being rejected, so, I won’t ask for something that could possibly lead to devastation, and soooo, a back scratch is usually the thing I ask for when I absolutely need to make basic human to human contact and my husband is too exhausted to lift his arm at the end of his day.

So I did, I asked him, “Can you please scratch my back?”

He eventually approaches and I hit him with another request. “Under my shirt?”

He can handle that. He still approaches.

Then I hit him with something completely new. “Can you scratch me sensually?

He stopped dead in his tracks and I looked at him and couldn’t help laugh over the expression on his face. Like was that an English word? Or, how in the world do you do that scratching a back?

Not completely deterred, he sits on the bed and begins his scratching. Immediately I realize my husband has no clue what sensual back scratching is and isn’t interested in asking or trying. When I begin to feel like a dog getting his tummy or head scratched by his master, I decide to show him.

“Like this.” I scratch on his arm firmly and slowly in a mysterious pattern.

Don’t ever expect a man to just pick it up that quick. Not my husband anyway. I was too tired to coach him and so took what I could get, which was something akin to a bi-polar/drunk scratching his ass. (okay, not that bad!) I gave him a D for Damn, maybe next time.

But the whole thing got me thinking about men and what they actually know about romance and sensuality. They may know how to identify sensual behavior in a woman, but do they know how to behave in a sensual manner? Do they know how to be sensual?  

I decided to be brave and treat it like a dance move. I plan to coach his touches. My husband is usually willing to try anything as long as it’s not done in a discriminatory manner. Mmm. Think I’ll practice kissing sensually with him. I know, don’t we do that? Sadly, no. But it’s never too late to start living and enjoying passion. Right? 

Naaahhh

Um… Hi?


Hello and welcome to Love Scenes & Wet Dreams (aka LSWD)! This blog is a joint venture between authors Azure Boone, Kenra Daniels, and Jennifer James.

As Frenz and CPs (critique partners), we decided to band together to pimp each other’s work. We have a few other items on the agenda, but it’s too early to announce those. Just look forward to having a little fun with us! We all tend to be pretty outspoken, so rest assured, you’ll be hearing from all of us.

So, sit back, fasten your seat belt, grab the lube, pop the top, and hang on for the RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!