The Myth Of Multiples (Orgasms, That Is)


 

One of the big pet peeves that both readers and writers seem to have with romance novels is lack of realism in matters pertaining to orgasms. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve read a comment someone left regarding the implausibility of multiple orgasms for both Hero and Heroine, well… You know the rest of the line.

So, that got me thinking… Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of the hazards associated with that activity! It regularly gets me into all sorts of messes.

Are multiple orgasms impossible? For just males? Or for both males and females? (See that? I’m pretending I don’t already know the answer :D)

Many people, of both sexes, seem to regard Real Life multiple orgasms as a myth, for either sex. Others will concede that some women are capable of more than one orgasm during a single session of sexual activity. Most seem convinced that a man is incapable of more than one during a single session, without a sufficient recovery period between, and that men are unable to maintain full erection immediately after an orgasm. {My source of all this information is multiple discussions, both online and in person, with members of both sexes. Yup, romance authors get by with asking questions and bringing up topics that would earn other people a cold shoulder, minimum. We’re just lucky like that.}

I suppose I’m lucky that I knew very little about sex before I became sexually active. Oh, I knew the basics, and what went where, thanks to my 9th grade health class, but that’s about it. Being raised in a home where ‘sex’, ‘pregnant’, and the words – slang or proper – for genitals, were forbidden tends to have that effect. Hell, we couldn’t even name various bodily functions. So I had no preconceived notions of things like a limit on the number of orgasms a person could have during a single sexual experience. Since I didn’t know I could only have one, I had more.

Maybe that’s why so many people think only one is possible? Just like so many other facts about sex – that’s what they’ve always heard, so it must be true, right?

So, the thing with guys is, they actually can have multiple orgasms. They just can’t ejaculate again without a recovery period, the length of which varies for each man. It takes practice, but guys can ‘train’ their bodies to orgasm without ejaculating. For more info, check out this article on The Frisky, or just Google “dry orgasm”. From experience, you really want your guy to learn this one. I promise, it’s well worth your while. On a side note, dry orgasm can be a result of disease.

Not long ago, I read an article that said women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and that wasn’t the first time I’d seen that. As someone who’s never had difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm, I knew that one was bullshit, 😀 But it does bring up another common complaint about the realism of sex in romance novels. The heroines in older novels, and some contemporary ones, were often depicted having vaginal orgasm, which some readers considered impossible. The truth is, women can not only have multiple orgasms, but we can have different types of orgasms, and different kinds of multiple orgasms! This post on Centerfold Strip brings it all together.

So the next time you hear someone scoff about that sex scene with multiple orgasms for both the hero and the heroine, just smile and say something like, “You’re kidding, right? Only one? How sad.”

 

*Note, This post is republished here with the permission of the original author – ME. It has run on my own blog and on two others as guest posts, the last about 6 months ago. Since it’s always popular and generates discussion, so I’m dusting it off again. This is probably its last public appearance for a year or more now, so enjoy!

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The Female Orgasm…How does it work and feel?


I promised when I did the post about How The Male Orgasm Feels I would explore or explain, how an orgasm feels for a woman. Well, not me but rather my good friend, who was kind enough to give me these private details.

However, this answer is rather complex, and so, I have split it up into three posts. What can I say, we’re women, isn’t it always complicated?

Anyway, here is part ONE:

Starting with which body parts feel good. Now remember, every woman is different, so, this is an account of what I know for myself.

The very tip of the nipples have nerves that seem to be directly linked to the clitoris. It feels good at the nipple itself, but it also seems to make it feel good at the clitoris as well. I’m not sure if this connection is made mentally or physically, or both. And the reason I say this, is because there was a point in time I did NOT get aroused when my nipples were stimulated, but in fact got annoyed. The sensation is there, and perhaps the interpretation to this sensitivity is subjective according to a person’s experiences. For one example, women who nurse are familiar with the sensitivity but may have a hard time translating that sensation into sexual pleasure and might need to make the distinction in their mind in order for it to be so. The rest of the breasts, for me, is like fondling my butt cheek. It’s okay, but doesn’t produce pleasure on the spot, but thinking what it could lead to, does. And when my breasts are stroked and fondled, I thrust them forward for nipple stimulation. I think of the nipple as the clit for the breast.

And on to that wonderful little mechanism called the clitoris. That is where the real excitement happens (please add a “for me” whenever I speak in a factual way about anything) But it’s a sensitive, and can be a complicated mechanism for some.

How does the clit feel? The clitoris can be stimulated without touch. If I think or hear something sexual, the clit will almost receive the words with a pulsing, tingling, thick and maybe hot sensation. And it will continue to throb if that kind of stimulation continues without touch. In fact, if I’m reading an erotic book, the clit will throb in a very hot and deep way and feel like it’s sensitive and thick. I’d venture to say that the clit is a tiny penis that becomes hard, in that respect.

Now add physical stimulation after the clit is already aroused, and orgasm is easily achieved. It can be quick, depending on speed and pressure applied.  But let’s approach the feelings of the clit from two sides.  An already stimulated clit and starting stimulation from scratch.

When the clit hasn’t been stimulated yet, I can stimulate by touch, but it takes an exact amount of pressure, which seem to be achieved with the middle and the ring finger (again for me) and a counterclockwise rotation in a circle over it. If you press too hard, it actually doesn’t feel good, just too much sensation. So, if you rub like with the pressure of… playdough on the table, as if you want to make it into a small ball. Soft enough that you can’t really feel what’s beneath it very much, or the same pressure you would use to massage your eyeballs? Haha.

As you do this, it slowly builds a tingling heat that sort of  tickles and makes you want to squirm and pump your hips because it feels good and you want more of it. There are things you can do to make it feel better, like opening the lips while thrusting, and making the skin around the clit tight, that feels good too.

One thing that adds to this pleasure is nipple stimulation. And yet another added pleasure is being fingered rapidly with one finger, not too deep because you don’t want to disturb the g-spot (I’ll talk about that in a moment) and throw off the wave you’re building in your clit region. (yes, the two different pleasures can cancel one another out if it’s not done in a timely fashion.)

But a finger being “rapidly” driven in and out is just the right amount of vaginal stimulation. Like a tease. It’s not too much, not too little and it helps build without becoming greater than the clitoris wave you’re building. Another thing that feels good for some is the anus being teased. Again, light stimulation seems to beckon and build without disrupting the clitoris orgasm being built. And for me, the slower that heat builds, the BETTER it feels. Maybe it’s because you get to have it longer, I’m not sure.

Now, once the clitoris is stimulated past a point where not much will get it unstimulated or disrupt the build, then you can get a little more aggressive in the vagina and anus stimulations. Not too aggressive though. Just a little more and it will continue to build her higher. If the penis is used, it feels very good to have the legs forced open wide. I almost want to use caps instead of italics, because I can’t emphasize this enough. I’m not sure what it does for me, but it is just extremely arousing. I think women love things like ‘hard” but also “control.”

to be cont….