Being Sensual?


ImageThe other day, I’m laying in bed, wiped out from writing and editing erotic scenes nearly all day. You’d swear I’d had a sex marathon, and really, in my mind, I had.

My husband comes home from work and I know how tired he is but I can’t help but need to be touched. I’ll take it however I can get it. But deep down, I have a fear of being rejected, so, I won’t ask for something that could possibly lead to devastation, and soooo, a back scratch is usually the thing I ask for when I absolutely need to make basic human to human contact and my husband is too exhausted to lift his arm at the end of his day.

So I did, I asked him, “Can you please scratch my back?”

He eventually approaches and I hit him with another request. “Under my shirt?”

He can handle that. He still approaches.

Then I hit him with something completely new. “Can you scratch me sensually?

He stopped dead in his tracks and I looked at him and couldn’t help laugh over the expression on his face. Like was that an English word? Or, how in the world do you do that scratching a back?

Not completely deterred, he sits on the bed and begins his scratching. Immediately I realize my husband has no clue what sensual back scratching is and isn’t interested in asking or trying. When I begin to feel like a dog getting his tummy or head scratched by his master, I decide to show him.

“Like this.” I scratch on his arm firmly and slowly in a mysterious pattern.

Don’t ever expect a man to just pick it up that quick. Not my husband anyway. I was too tired to coach him and so took what I could get, which was something akin to a bi-polar/drunk scratching his ass. (okay, not that bad!) I gave him a D for Damn, maybe next time.

But the whole thing got me thinking about men and what they actually know about romance and sensuality. They may know how to identify sensual behavior in a woman, but do they know how to behave in a sensual manner? Do they know how to be sensual?  

I decided to be brave and treat it like a dance move. I plan to coach his touches. My husband is usually willing to try anything as long as it’s not done in a discriminatory manner. Mmm. Think I’ll practice kissing sensually with him. I know, don’t we do that? Sadly, no. But it’s never too late to start living and enjoying passion. Right? 

Naaahhh

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