The Myth Of Multiples (Orgasms, That Is)


 

One of the big pet peeves that both readers and writers seem to have with romance novels is lack of realism in matters pertaining to orgasms. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve read a comment someone left regarding the implausibility of multiple orgasms for both Hero and Heroine, well… You know the rest of the line.

So, that got me thinking… Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of the hazards associated with that activity! It regularly gets me into all sorts of messes.

Are multiple orgasms impossible? For just males? Or for both males and females? (See that? I’m pretending I don’t already know the answer :D)

Many people, of both sexes, seem to regard Real Life multiple orgasms as a myth, for either sex. Others will concede that some women are capable of more than one orgasm during a single session of sexual activity. Most seem convinced that a man is incapable of more than one during a single session, without a sufficient recovery period between, and that men are unable to maintain full erection immediately after an orgasm. {My source of all this information is multiple discussions, both online and in person, with members of both sexes. Yup, romance authors get by with asking questions and bringing up topics that would earn other people a cold shoulder, minimum. We’re just lucky like that.}

I suppose I’m lucky that I knew very little about sex before I became sexually active. Oh, I knew the basics, and what went where, thanks to my 9th grade health class, but that’s about it. Being raised in a home where ‘sex’, ‘pregnant’, and the words – slang or proper – for genitals, were forbidden tends to have that effect. Hell, we couldn’t even name various bodily functions. So I had no preconceived notions of things like a limit on the number of orgasms a person could have during a single sexual experience. Since I didn’t know I could only have one, I had more.

Maybe that’s why so many people think only one is possible? Just like so many other facts about sex – that’s what they’ve always heard, so it must be true, right?

So, the thing with guys is, they actually can have multiple orgasms. They just can’t ejaculate again without a recovery period, the length of which varies for each man. It takes practice, but guys can ‘train’ their bodies to orgasm without ejaculating. For more info, check out this article on The Frisky, or just Google “dry orgasm”. From experience, you really want your guy to learn this one. I promise, it’s well worth your while. On a side note, dry orgasm can be a result of disease.

Not long ago, I read an article that said women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and that wasn’t the first time I’d seen that. As someone who’s never had difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm, I knew that one was bullshit, 😀 But it does bring up another common complaint about the realism of sex in romance novels. The heroines in older novels, and some contemporary ones, were often depicted having vaginal orgasm, which some readers considered impossible. The truth is, women can not only have multiple orgasms, but we can have different types of orgasms, and different kinds of multiple orgasms! This post on Centerfold Strip brings it all together.

So the next time you hear someone scoff about that sex scene with multiple orgasms for both the hero and the heroine, just smile and say something like, “You’re kidding, right? Only one? How sad.”

 

*Note, This post is republished here with the permission of the original author – ME. It has run on my own blog and on two others as guest posts, the last about 6 months ago. Since it’s always popular and generates discussion, so I’m dusting it off again. This is probably its last public appearance for a year or more now, so enjoy!

#Author Sabrina Garie: Hexing the HOT Into Your #Romance


Woohoo! It’s my critter pal Sabrina! I’m so excited that her new book is out and available for everyone to read and drool over. I got to crit this baby, and let me say that you all are in for a treat. 🙂 This is great stuff, and totally indicative of the type of amazing story you’ll be seeing from Sabrina in the future. She’s a new talent to watch for sure.

Hexing the hot into your romance:  A fire witch reveals her secrets

 

Being here with my critter Jennifer, one of the hottest writers on the planet, just knocks my…let ’s say socks, off.  Thanks for hosting me babe. ***You are totally welcome! –JJ*** My story Fires of Justice is part of Ellora’s Cave Hex Appeal series, which is a cornucopia of sexy witches and warlocks using their powers for naughty.  So I’m here to talk about how a witch hooks her man.

Eye of newt and bat wings are one way to brew up a romance.  But there are a few other tricks we mortals might be able to borrow along the way.

What hexes did my little witch, Calista, use to entice Cullen, her shifter?  Let’s peak into their bedroom.

 

Sex hex 1:       Let him know you want him.  Female desire is sexy.

When Calista’s aroused, Cullen explodes.

She may be playing cautious, but her scent, fiery and feminine, wet and floral, trumpeted just how much she wanted him. Her barely concealed passion scorched through the remaining ice, released his heart and hurled his appetites into free fall. His pants tightened and chafed around his rigid, throbbing cock.

 

Sex hex 2: Take an active role in foreplay.

Here’s our happy couple in the bedroom, for the first time.  Cullen’s taken off his shirt. Calista demands more.

“Keep going,” she urged, unable to keep her eyes to herself.

“Like what you see?” Button popped, zipper released, nothing underneath.

Yowza, she liked.

“You want it? Take it.” A rumble in his throat, he craved this as much as she did.

Sex Hex 3:      Tease and show no mercy.

Calista has this down to an art form. Cullen has no chance.

Skirt and boots off, she sat on the edge of her bed and rolled down each thigh-high to reveal tanned, toned flesh bit by bit. Naked, she lay back, head on hands, and opened her legs, offering up her clit for his next move.

 “Argenta’s boots, you’re not making this easy, witch.

Sex Hex 4:      Alcohol is good.

Calista gets Cullen in the mood.

 

“Take a seat. I need a drink, I’m getting you one and you’re going to drink it. You so need to loosen up.”

 

Sex Hex 5:      Don’t take no for an answer.

Calista knows what she wants and goes after it.

 

Calista kissed him fiercely, straddling her legs around him, rubbing until his cock stiffened.

“Argenta’s boots, this is not a good time.”

“Please. I think we need to do this. I want this.” She unzipped his jeans and massaged him expertly until he threw his head back and groaned.

Being a fire witch, Calista is pretty good at this sex stuff, it’s built into her elemental DNA as it were.  We all have places where we shine.  I’m giving away a free copy of my ebook (it is ebook only) to one commenter. How do you shine?—share one amazing thing about yourself.  Feeling shy?  I’ll start. I’m an awesome problem solver—I love puzzles and a problem is a puzzle.  Go on brag a little. You deserve it–we all do every now and then.  Thanks for dropping by.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Ellora’s Cave   http://www.jasminejade.com/p-10340-fires-of-justice.aspx

Amazon   http://www.amazon.com/Fires-Justice-Hex-Appeal-ebook/dp/B008XZILDM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348922492&sr=8-1&keywords=sabrina+garie

Barnes and Noble   http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fires-of-justice-sabrina-garie/1112582075?ean=9781419941542

Always read the fine print when swearing an eternal oath to gods and guardians…

Beholden by the sacred vows of her coven, fire witch Calista Reid agrees to temporarily mate with shifter Cullen McMahan to fulfill a mission assigned by the guardians. When tall, dark and damaged arrives on her doorstep, generating enough heat to scorch a fire witch, Calista finds herself drawn to his battle-hardened body and broken soul. His pain speaks to her own deep-rooted isolation and the intensity of his hunger slakes her passion like no other.

Cullen, scarred by a past that left him an indentured soldier to the guardians, resents yet another hump-on-command assignment…until he encounters the compassionate, fearless, incendiary redhead who detonates his body and reawakens the emotions sacrifice and loss had suppressed. But Cullen harbors a terrible secret—one that reaches back into Calista’s troubled childhood and threatens the foundation of their growing bond.

Link to Excerpt: http://www.jasminejade.com/productspecs/9781419941542.htm

Sabrina Garie is on a journey to create the most kick-ass heroine romance fiction has ever known and the hero who can take her. A believer that big, audacious goals spice up life, she relies on coffee, red wine and laughter to make those goals (and her characters) come alive. When not at the computer, she wrangles vegetables and extra helpings of homework into her star-spangled, fashion-loving progeny, kowtows to a fat cat and reads, a lot. Since it is more fun to travel in packs, come along for the ride. I’d love to chat.

You can find me at:

Website/Blog: www.sabrinagarie.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/SabrinaGarie

Facebook: www.facebook.com/SabrinaGarieAuthor

I also blog at Darker Temptations (Paranormal and Science Fiction Romance Blog):  http://darkertemptations.wordpress.com/

 

This post was originally posted at http://www.authorjenniferjames.com/?p=1127

The Female Orgasm…how that works and feels Part Three


This is part THREE of The Female Orgasm and how that works and feels. You can read part ONE here and TWO here.

Back to the G-spot.

I think the shallow G spot location is the perfect clitoral orgasm building aid. If you rotate between rapid in and out shallow thrusts with a finger, to using that come to me motion on the shallow G spot, then the clit will continue it’s slow perfect climb toward orgasm. Once the clitoris is stimulated to a certain point (you’ll know by the amount of arousal she’s displaying) then you can move to penal penetration and use the deeper G spot to finish the show. Don’t forget. Legs forced open wide!

I’m not sure my G spot comes with an orgasm function, or maybe I haven’t discovered it, it just feels super awesome when the spot is stimulated, but it doesn’t seem to build toward some sort of “release.” The most I feel with the G spot stimulation as far as release goes, is, it feels like I might just pee everywhere if it goes any further, or maybe even vomit from the intensity. So, I don’t try to orgasm with g-spot stimulation, I just allow that powerful pleasure sensation to ride alongside my clitoral orgasm.

Other than that, women usually like being driven into, pumped hard and overwhelmed on the g-spot at the exact point of clitoral orgasm, so, give it all you got once her clitoral orgasm has begun (give it maybe 7 seconds before pounding in, to make sure she’s achieved peak) There is just something extremely arousing about the male plowing into us that we need and want. The term YES, FUCK ME sums it up quite nicely, when you hear her demand that, my GOD, DO IT for crying out loud.

Having my neck sucked hard during this if possible is just THE BOMB.

When I’m not having sex and I think of that deep G spot being rammed, it makes my tummy tickle inside with excitement. When I think of clitoral orgasm, my clit throbs.  It’s a delicate dance between these two pleasure sources, but one worth practicing and learning. Some orgasms are better and stronger and longer than others and I’m never sure what ingredient produces the perfect/imperfect effect.

And there you have it. It’s not an exhaustive piece on the topic, but it’s a good start. Keep in mind, I’m not an expert, just a woman giving my personal opinion on the topic. If anybody has any questions, I’d be happy to answer if I can. If I can’t, maybe some of the other readers could that have more experience, or varied experience. Again, there are no sure and fast rules to how the body works when it comes to our sexuality. Many things define it, so, I think they are a lot like fingerprints, no two are stimulated exactly the same.

This covered the physical aspect of the female orgasm. There is an emotional aspect that comes into play as well. But that is another topic. But to close with a word of advice on it. If a woman doesn’t feel loved and cherished, the sexual experience will not be all it could and should be.

****

And that’s that! Thank you anonymous friend for divulging all this amazing information about the female orgasm!!

The Female Orgasm…How does it work and feel? Part Two (Writer’s Resource)


This is part two of The Female Orgasm, part one can be found HERE. We were discussing clitoral stimulation:

Once her clit is at maximum stimulation, there isn’t much that can stop it except pain. So, be careful there. (and maybe for some, that may add, but it’s the exception)

It’s nice when the teasing methods are being maintained with the harder passion or penal thrusting. Like the nipples and the anus (now there’s a title). Just the tip of the pinky in the anus in a wiggling motion is marvelous. But ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS make sure anything you touch on the vagina is WELL LUBRICATED. The man’s precum is the best for this, I find. Otherwise, it will irritate, annoy, and bring discomfort. I don’t care what you have to do, make SURE she’s properly lubricated at ALL times. (Yes, lubrication wears off!) Especially the anus needs lubrication.

Now, as far as the actual clitoral orgasm and how it feels. Just before the orgasm, the heat expands and covers the entire vagina and even the anus, and so all stimulation in those areas add to the final release. The hot feeling increases in intensity, it makes you pump and squirm and moan with it, like having to reach for what is tickling and teasing you in that very spot.

Then when it comes, when it finally comes, it almost feels like a wonderful electrocution in that area, like somebody plugged you into soft warm electricity and it lightly pinches and lights up every nerve ending in your body until you literally tremble and strain with it.

When you know the orgasm is there, (you can usually tell by the pitch of her moans) pull back on the harder stimulation for a brief moment while the orgasm “hits” or “plugs in” to her body. You can aid the orgasm with very light stimulation to sort of give thrust to that initial launch of pleasure. If I rub fast and hard, it’ll make the orgasm HARD, but almost loses something, not sure why, maybe the ability to really experience every bit and depth of the pleasure? It’s just kind of untempered. I like mine hard yet tempered. If I rub lightly, it’s just better for me.

I mentioned the G spot. There is a dispute about its existence but I can tell you for a fact, whatever it’s called, there is a spot deep inside that when hit with the head of the penis or stimulated with the finger, produces almost a muscle laxative effect, in addition to intense sensation that is sort of breath stealing in a pleasurable way.

To describe the feeling created when stroking it is difficult, but I’ll try to associate it with something. I think it’s like when the lower back is massaged, it creates instant pleasure on location. It’s like that in a way, except what’s being stroked creates a wave of erotic pleasure on location that just floods the entire system. Sort of like the pleasure of an orgasm on touch but without the building up requirement. It’s like a naked pleasure and it doesn’t need persuading or building, it just. feels. good.

I believe there are two G spots or spots inside that create a similar effect. A shallow one and a deep one.

The shallow one is located on the vaginal wall, stomach side. While a woman lies on her back, and the middle finger is inserted into the vagina, palm up, you can reach the spot that way–it’s about a finger length in. To stimulate it, you move your finger in a “come to me” motion. When this area is stroked properly, you will see what this pleasure does. Her mouth opens with those wonderful gasping moans men love to hear, her head thrashes, her hips reach, her breasts thrust into the air.  I prefer to be laying when stimulated due to that muscle laxative effect, it makes it hard to stand.

The second G spot is located deep. You can reach it with your finger also. I believe it’s a harder gland and when you flick it with your finger, or hit it with the head of the penis, it creates that same effect as the shallow G spot I just described.

So, the woman has 3 powerhouses of pleasure. They can work against each other or for each other. Often times women cannot achieve clitoral orgasm if the G spot is being too stimulated. The G spot is like a pleasure bully and it disrupts the delicate dance required when building the clit toward that perfect orgasm. So, the trick is to learn to use the clotoris stimulation and the G spot stimulation so that they work FOR each other, rather than against.

As I said, if the G spot is stimulated before the clit has reached proper arousal, the G spot sensation just rolls right over the clit sensation. Remember, the clit has to be built properly, the G spot doesn’t. So, using the G spot to serve the clitoral orgasm makes for a super nova orgasm. But women are different and this must be practiced and explored and tested. Yay.

Part 3 on Jan. 31…

The Female Orgasm…How does it work and feel?


I promised when I did the post about How The Male Orgasm Feels I would explore or explain, how an orgasm feels for a woman. Well, not me but rather my good friend, who was kind enough to give me these private details.

However, this answer is rather complex, and so, I have split it up into three posts. What can I say, we’re women, isn’t it always complicated?

Anyway, here is part ONE:

Starting with which body parts feel good. Now remember, every woman is different, so, this is an account of what I know for myself.

The very tip of the nipples have nerves that seem to be directly linked to the clitoris. It feels good at the nipple itself, but it also seems to make it feel good at the clitoris as well. I’m not sure if this connection is made mentally or physically, or both. And the reason I say this, is because there was a point in time I did NOT get aroused when my nipples were stimulated, but in fact got annoyed. The sensation is there, and perhaps the interpretation to this sensitivity is subjective according to a person’s experiences. For one example, women who nurse are familiar with the sensitivity but may have a hard time translating that sensation into sexual pleasure and might need to make the distinction in their mind in order for it to be so. The rest of the breasts, for me, is like fondling my butt cheek. It’s okay, but doesn’t produce pleasure on the spot, but thinking what it could lead to, does. And when my breasts are stroked and fondled, I thrust them forward for nipple stimulation. I think of the nipple as the clit for the breast.

And on to that wonderful little mechanism called the clitoris. That is where the real excitement happens (please add a “for me” whenever I speak in a factual way about anything) But it’s a sensitive, and can be a complicated mechanism for some.

How does the clit feel? The clitoris can be stimulated without touch. If I think or hear something sexual, the clit will almost receive the words with a pulsing, tingling, thick and maybe hot sensation. And it will continue to throb if that kind of stimulation continues without touch. In fact, if I’m reading an erotic book, the clit will throb in a very hot and deep way and feel like it’s sensitive and thick. I’d venture to say that the clit is a tiny penis that becomes hard, in that respect.

Now add physical stimulation after the clit is already aroused, and orgasm is easily achieved. It can be quick, depending on speed and pressure applied.  But let’s approach the feelings of the clit from two sides.  An already stimulated clit and starting stimulation from scratch.

When the clit hasn’t been stimulated yet, I can stimulate by touch, but it takes an exact amount of pressure, which seem to be achieved with the middle and the ring finger (again for me) and a counterclockwise rotation in a circle over it. If you press too hard, it actually doesn’t feel good, just too much sensation. So, if you rub like with the pressure of… playdough on the table, as if you want to make it into a small ball. Soft enough that you can’t really feel what’s beneath it very much, or the same pressure you would use to massage your eyeballs? Haha.

As you do this, it slowly builds a tingling heat that sort of  tickles and makes you want to squirm and pump your hips because it feels good and you want more of it. There are things you can do to make it feel better, like opening the lips while thrusting, and making the skin around the clit tight, that feels good too.

One thing that adds to this pleasure is nipple stimulation. And yet another added pleasure is being fingered rapidly with one finger, not too deep because you don’t want to disturb the g-spot (I’ll talk about that in a moment) and throw off the wave you’re building in your clit region. (yes, the two different pleasures can cancel one another out if it’s not done in a timely fashion.)

But a finger being “rapidly” driven in and out is just the right amount of vaginal stimulation. Like a tease. It’s not too much, not too little and it helps build without becoming greater than the clitoris wave you’re building. Another thing that feels good for some is the anus being teased. Again, light stimulation seems to beckon and build without disrupting the clitoris orgasm being built. And for me, the slower that heat builds, the BETTER it feels. Maybe it’s because you get to have it longer, I’m not sure.

Now, once the clitoris is stimulated past a point where not much will get it unstimulated or disrupt the build, then you can get a little more aggressive in the vagina and anus stimulations. Not too aggressive though. Just a little more and it will continue to build her higher. If the penis is used, it feels very good to have the legs forced open wide. I almost want to use caps instead of italics, because I can’t emphasize this enough. I’m not sure what it does for me, but it is just extremely arousing. I think women love things like ‘hard” but also “control.”

to be cont….

The Male Orgasm…How Does It Feel?


Good LORD, right?

I want some gotdamn chocolate now. Sigh.

As a paranormal erotic romance writer from a male pov, I have to know the answer to the topic question rather intimately. After much research, there is one answer I got from a man (who chooses to remain anonymous) that just BLEW ME AWAY.

I asked him if it was okay if I shared it, and he said YES. (Caps MINE because I am excited) I’ll refer to him as Mr. Wonderful in this blog.

Of course everybody is different and experiences vary in intensity and response, I’m sure. But this was his answer:

Mr. Wonderful: You know that feeling when all your hairs stand on end and electricity charges your skin? Concentrate all that feeling into the most sensitive part of your body and you begin to get an idea of what an erect phallus feels like just before orgasm. The flesh is charged, tensed, pulled taut – not just the surface or the rigid phallus itself, but deeply inside the pelvis and body as well, and at the chest and throat. There is a smooth, sudden sense of a powerful rising, of gliding forward at the cusp of a tremendous wave.

The scrotum and testicles contract upwards, clenching like a fist against the turgid perineum, and the wave begins to crest and fall forward onto itself in a rush of sound and pressure. If all the sap that rises into a sugar maple at the start of Spring were to flood up the trunk in a few seconds, it would feel like this. The sensation gathers and rises and floods outward, and all the muscles spasm and push with its flowing. The pressure pushes forward and out from the hips, gliding as smooth as a wave up onto a smooth sandy beach, spreading outward and slowly losing intensity while expanding in area. The muscles begin to relax. As they do so, you finally begin to be aware of your heartbeat pounding in your ears and the harsh rasp of your breathing.

 

That was his first response. Of course this merely whet my appetite and created questions. Our exchange went something like this:

Little Miss Erotica: How does one control that orgasm, can you describe this, because I often have my male pulling back that wave you describe.

Mr. Wonderful: Control is the wrong word, I think, but yes, a skilled lover can delay the moment of orgasm by consciously slowing down the pace of his thrusts, and by relaxing those muscles…especially the internal ones.

Look up the Kegel muscle: men clench that muscle during thrusts and especially during orgasm, and consciously trying to relax it can hold off an imminent orgasm. To use the wave metaphor, going “loose” and adjusting the angle of penetration so the friction is less intense will hold that incipient wave back a little.

Breathing consciously also seems to help create a little space between oneself and that incoming wave of orgasm. It really does feel like the wave recedes backwards a bit when you make adjustments to delay orgasm.

Little Miss Erotica:wow, i’m just so amazed really. So not control so much but pulling away from that which is driving it forward. Which would be what, speed? Pressure?

Mr. Wonderful: Strangely, I always have the feeling that the wave of orgasm is always out there, behind me, somewhere out of sight but rolling relentlessly toward me – and only by loosening my muscles, slowing down my thrusts or adjusting the angle of penetration will keep it from rolling right over me.

What drives that wave forward is not so much speed or pressure (though it IS those things as well) but rather that sense of relentless inevitability.

****

I did return the favor and explain to the best of my ability, what an orgasm feels like for a woman. I’ll put that post up next week (anonymously) haha.

P.S. If there are any men who happen upon this blog and have *extra* stuff to add to our “male orgasm” resource list for writers, PLEASE DO.

THE DEVIL WANTS A CHINA DOLL


HERE IT IS.

CLICK THE PICTURE TO BUY NOW!

Rone Kreed wants Sheeku in every way imaginable. Which is kind of impossible when possessed with a demon who devours souls with a kiss and spreads eternal damnation through his seed.  But Sheeku has a power that protects her from the demon’s sadistic intoxicant, tempting Rone to play ever closer to the fires of her innocent, yet demanding desires. When he learns that protecting her from her sadistic mafia family will require his hand in marriage, exorcism becomes imperative. Because he’s one sweet beg away from surrendering to the woman he’s fallen in love with, and giving the demon her angelic soul.

Publisher’s Note: This book contains explicit sexual situations, graphic language, and material that some readers may find objectionable.