The Myth Of Multiples (Orgasms, That Is)


 

One of the big pet peeves that both readers and writers seem to have with romance novels is lack of realism in matters pertaining to orgasms. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve read a comment someone left regarding the implausibility of multiple orgasms for both Hero and Heroine, well… You know the rest of the line.

So, that got me thinking… Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of the hazards associated with that activity! It regularly gets me into all sorts of messes.

Are multiple orgasms impossible? For just males? Or for both males and females? (See that? I’m pretending I don’t already know the answer :D)

Many people, of both sexes, seem to regard Real Life multiple orgasms as a myth, for either sex. Others will concede that some women are capable of more than one orgasm during a single session of sexual activity. Most seem convinced that a man is incapable of more than one during a single session, without a sufficient recovery period between, and that men are unable to maintain full erection immediately after an orgasm. {My source of all this information is multiple discussions, both online and in person, with members of both sexes. Yup, romance authors get by with asking questions and bringing up topics that would earn other people a cold shoulder, minimum. We’re just lucky like that.}

I suppose I’m lucky that I knew very little about sex before I became sexually active. Oh, I knew the basics, and what went where, thanks to my 9th grade health class, but that’s about it. Being raised in a home where ‘sex’, ‘pregnant’, and the words – slang or proper – for genitals, were forbidden tends to have that effect. Hell, we couldn’t even name various bodily functions. So I had no preconceived notions of things like a limit on the number of orgasms a person could have during a single sexual experience. Since I didn’t know I could only have one, I had more.

Maybe that’s why so many people think only one is possible? Just like so many other facts about sex – that’s what they’ve always heard, so it must be true, right?

So, the thing with guys is, they actually can have multiple orgasms. They just can’t ejaculate again without a recovery period, the length of which varies for each man. It takes practice, but guys can ‘train’ their bodies to orgasm without ejaculating. For more info, check out this article on The Frisky, or just Google “dry orgasm”. From experience, you really want your guy to learn this one. I promise, it’s well worth your while. On a side note, dry orgasm can be a result of disease.

Not long ago, I read an article that said women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and that wasn’t the first time I’d seen that. As someone who’s never had difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm, I knew that one was bullshit, 😀 But it does bring up another common complaint about the realism of sex in romance novels. The heroines in older novels, and some contemporary ones, were often depicted having vaginal orgasm, which some readers considered impossible. The truth is, women can not only have multiple orgasms, but we can have different types of orgasms, and different kinds of multiple orgasms! This post on Centerfold Strip brings it all together.

So the next time you hear someone scoff about that sex scene with multiple orgasms for both the hero and the heroine, just smile and say something like, “You’re kidding, right? Only one? How sad.”

 

*Note, This post is republished here with the permission of the original author – ME. It has run on my own blog and on two others as guest posts, the last about 6 months ago. Since it’s always popular and generates discussion, so I’m dusting it off again. This is probably its last public appearance for a year or more now, so enjoy!

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7 responses to “The Myth Of Multiples (Orgasms, That Is)

  1. As an erotic romance writer – thanks for reposting this and getting it out there – some reviewers need to read it so they’ll stop complaining about heroes and heroines having a great time.

    • LOL, so true! Some people seem to think if it’s outside their experience, it’s impossible. Never occurs to them they might be doing it wrong, lol.

      Thanks for stopping by, Daryl!

  2. Multiple orgasms are totally possible (male and female), but it takes a lot of practice and the right circumstances for them to be achievable. Also, most importantly it takes two people very dedicated and committed to learning to do it… along with significant sexual compatibility. I was never able to until I met my husband (except on very rare accidental occasions). It wasn’t immediate. It took months of trying to figure myself out in a way that I hadn’t previously needed to (or been with someone who cared enough to be that patient). The fact is– They aren’t realistic for most people, because that’s A LOT of effort for something they don’t even know will actually happen. Most people won’t try (or have the right circumstances to).

  3. Wait, you mean it’s possible to only have one orgasm during sex? Seriously though, I never realized there were people who didn’t believe women could be multi-orgasmic…those people might want to either take a second look at their partner or stop by their neighborhood (adult) toy store.

    Several years ago I became friends with Douglas Abrams a man who co-wrote the book, Multi-Orgasmic Man. That was a new concept to me but the book’s gotten great feedback so apparently this is something that can be taught. So after the toy store…bookstore!

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